I don't reward bad behavior

Are you there, Emily Henderson? I didn't think so.
Anyways. It's me, 'Flogging A Dead Horse'.
Or at least, that's what I think my Native-American name would be.
But just in case this post finds you, I'd like to tell you about something.
I once idolized you. In decor, and styling, and being a cute bubbly blonde, you have many talents that I wasn't blessed with. That being said, there's room for improvement.
You must be a terrible golfer, because your 'follow-through' sucks.
(If you can take that sick burn, you can handle the rest of this honest (passive-aggressive) 'open letter' roast post, dedicated to you.)

Since this may be your first visit, and I know you aren't here to review my 25-or-so I'm a Giant related posts (apologies, I lost count) for some grand update, I'll go ahead and help you find this one. It's the one where I mentioned that I was going to make you a surprise. A really nice one. All you need to do is read the first paragraph there to figure out what happened with it after you snubbed the challenge.

This post is the action-packed sequel. But you have to stick around 'till the end for the juicy stuff.

I'll start by sharing with you one of my favorite childhood proverbs. Yes, I've had it memorized since I was about ten. No, I'm not kidding.

For me? Words to live by.

For you, food for thought.

And me being me, somehow, this didn't stick:

 So, attempting constructive criticism here; I'll say something nice, followed by some tough-love.

You are a stellar stylist/designer/decorator/tv-hostess with a great sense of humor.
You'll be needing it if you read on...

You really let me down on your 'I'm a Giant' Challenge. I know it's because you aren't finished with yours. And you probably feel bad. You probably think your silence is justified, being as busy as you are.
But if you, for even a second, think that you're any busier than the rest of us... you are sweetly yet sadly mistaken. The fact that you didn't even acknowledge the work of 82(+/-?) very busy people who only participated because you threw down an official challenge, regardless of your inability to hit two self-imposed deadlines?

Disrespectful. Shame on you. And your (coincidentally silent) friends. They (except Orlando) haven't said a single word about a challenge whose deadline passed almost three months ago. At least Orlando was Homme enough to admit that he got in over his head.

Now that I've finally got that off my chest...
Onward.

 I'd like to point your attention over to this blog/page. It's kind of a big deal. I've been told that you and your publicist have been contacted, but I'll show you here, too. Just in case, by some slim chance, you haven't yet feasted your pretty blue eyes. Yep, the participants all talk behind your back. We wouldn't if you'd only show your face. I've heard everyone's been e-mailing you and shit... if we didn't see regular blog posts coming from you, we might've sent someone to check for a pulse.
We are dying to see what you've done with your dollhouse, if you've made any progress since your last post. Just show us already. It's not a secret that you aren't finished. We just want to see what you came up with so far! As far as the final update post goes:

It's your lucky day! The work's already done for you, better than you could have managed yourself.

Score!!

When I go check out that page, in all of it's off-the-chain glory... I feel like we're all at a surprise party, thrown in your honor, waiting for you to show up.

I know that she spent an extraordinary amount of time, effort, and love in building that page and making sure all participants were accounted for. I think you owe her a big "thank you, I owe you my firstborn". Or at least one of these:

So here's my best "SURPRISE!"
I brought a gift to the party.
I can't just have unfinished stuff lying around. Forget my proverb already?
I, too, spent an extraordinary amount of time, effort, and love crafting this one of a kind, special replica for you. Blood, sweat and tears. Not 'tears' as-in boo-hoo. Those are for kids and sissies. Tears, as-in, rusty tools tearing into my flesh. Literally blood everywhere. Ever seen Dexter? Digging through my college immunization records for my last tetanus date was wicked fun.

Deep. There goes my hand-modeling career. Thanks for nothing, Emily.
Also of note, this injury afflicts the index finger on the hand that earns my paycheck. Whatever. Pain is weakness leaving the body. All damned week.

All in the name of your "coffee table soul mate".

Style By Emily Henderson

Style by TinyFixation.

Say what?!

Why, if I didn't know any better, I'd say the resemblance is striking.
 Right down to your copper nailhead detail...

 
Yes, it's real brass. And no, you can't have it. 
Yet.
Or maybe ever.
Am I a pretentious bitch for thinking you even want it? Absolutely.

But it's starting to look really good in my dollhouse.

  I could make it work in the master, too. If I had to.

Anyone notice that I finally matted and framed the "Captain Morgan Silver" box?  Deluxe.

 

I've had this 5"x7" printout of the actual coffee table hanging on the clipboard above my work bench for a very long time. I fussed and fought about measurements.

Soooo, seeing your response time to e-mails in action here...
I'm glad I 'guesstimated' on those measurements. I can only imagine how long it would take you to hit delete on an e-mail titled "Yo, I need the measurements of your new brass coffee table trunk thingy. Down to the inch. Real quick.". So it may not be a perfect 1:12 replica, but damn it, it's close. I have the top surface measuring 3.5" x 1.75", and the height at 1.5". Say whatever you want about the hardware being too big. I had to make that shit from scratch. My fingers were hurting for days. I'm fine with it. And the change in placement of the handles on the small ends. Isn't that what you show-biz types call 'creative license'? That modification makes it easier for one person to carry. Ha!

 
 Copper nailhead detail, and a close-up on hardware. Nevermind my tweezers.

 I made some sacrifices on this project. I didn't do working drawers. Not my style to skip details of that magnitude, but thank God. I would have kicked my own ass for going that far, for such little return. And to think, I was going to hand nail-trim this with real brass nail heads. They don't make copper ones small enough. I know because I searched forever before totally going in the cheap-out direction with technique. Not sorry for that either. I spent enough hours just plotting and punching pilot holes for said nails.
Planning, and plotting, and punching, and dilating. Those 636 individually pierced nail holes weren't going to make themselves. Hours. Injuries. I've forgiven myself for any imperfections or shortcomings in this item. There are many (I tried not to photograph them). I don't care. Everything has a good side and a bad side.
Everything.
The core is somewhat sentimental for me, as it was actually a part of my dollhouse that I ripped out during the early days of I'm a Giant.

That chunk of balsa that was once a stairwell landing (cut down to exact size, by hand, nopowertoolsthankyouverymuch) fills and supports the brass veneer. So you can't crush it. From my clumsy dollhouse, to yours.

I'm still not against gifting this to you and your dollhouse-in-progress. I'm just holding it for ransom...
I just want to know that you gave a shit about your challenge, the sacrifice made by the participants, and that you aren't ignoring our pleas for your participation. We are fans, after-all, or we would never have found out about it. Just do something. Looks like there's plenty of room in that swanky new office of yours. Spring is all about new beginnings, right? And give snaps where snaps are due for that massive, painstakingly and beautifully curated 'I'm a Giant' update.

I was always planning to make you a 'hostess gift', however silly, for doing the whole thing. And when I read this post (quoted below) I knew what it should be. But those were the glory days, a time of great possibility, before the coming and going of the second deadline.
Followed by 32 tracks of silence like a friggin' Dave Matthews album.
Just get to the bonus song already, dude.

stylebyemilyhenderson.com

"As soon as I saw this I knew there was no question that Emily had to have it. I mean, it's a gorgeous brass trunk table. What's not to like? Emily practically skipped down the street holding hands with this thing once we bought it." -Orlando (guest posting on Emily's blog)

But I guess we'll see. 

Maybe I just got myself a bitchin' new coffee table. And I can literally go skipping down the street with it. Because it's cute and tiny, and it fits in the palm of my giant hand. 

Imagine how bad-ass my replica would look sitting on top of the inspiration piece though...

I still like you. Hope the feeling's mutual.

Peace out,

Meagan

hounds-tooth-and-nail (Time Travel!)

Alright. I started this post back when I was actually in the process of making this piece. Four months ago. I was originally waiting until I finished it to post. But then things got really busy, you know, for the 'deadline'. HA! If only I knew then what I know now. All that was left was to add legs/feet to it, and they didn't end up exactly as planned. Just like my life. Anyways... hop in the Delorean. Gonna take you back to sometime in November:

I love tweed, herringbone, houndstooth... really any classic rich woven fabric. I've been on the search for the perfect houndstooth for my own bedroom (vanity stool upholstery) for over a year now. Unfortunately, in the era-of-cheap-low-quality-products, the pattern is almost always painted on the fabric. Gross. I'm not falling for that dirty trick. I want the real stuff, and I want it in royal blue and white. Alas, since I can't find it for my big house, I'll have it in my little one.

I found a great little Talbot's jacket at my local Savers, and I am looking forward to turning it into a living room set. Here's an inspiration pic to get you in the mood...

http://www.1stdibs.com/

There. Are you feeling it? I know, me too. But I'm not going to lie. I was incredibly intimidated by this project, but then again I was nervous about the copper range hood and we all know how that turned out. No fear, baby, no fear. If all else fails, I'll buy a killer couch I found on Etsy. Aaaanyways, here's what I'm starting with:

Not entirely unattractive, just 'country'. Yet sentimentally valuable.

Then I realize this:

Oh shit.

Turns out that my sofa is too small to even be a loveseat in 1:12. Actually.

I've got a whole living room set that size.

Plan B. Lucky for me, we just got 2 new ultrasound machines for work. They're ridiculously expensive, so they come carefully packaged with all of this glorious foam! I love a good, impeccably-timed freebie. I guess I'll add a few more pieces of furniture to my to-do list (Again... oh, shit.)

The machine installer guy, Scott says he'll save me the foam from other installations from now on. Score.

So I started looking at a few options for a simple modern-ish sofa with clean lines. I'll let the loud pattern to do the talking. I got a few ideas and started cutting foam up. Then started gluing fabric on with reckless abandon. Let's be realistic here. It's not like I ever had plans to sew any of this.

And after a few hours of careful and tedious work, it started looking like a glued together couch.

Ok. Back to the here-and-now, February 2012. Do you feel different? Me too. Older. Wiser. Droopier.
Spoiler alert! If you've read any of my posts within the last month, you've seen the finished couch. My husband has been far too busy with his business to bend those bars (in above photo) into legs for me (requiring a vise and torches. man-work). Balls. Good thing I found some beads to play understudy.  They're just hot-glued on, so I can pop 'em off and replace them as often as my fickle little heart desires.

Sorry if you wanted a fresh new post regarding something relevant that you haven't already seen. It's just that the Scott guy that I mentioned brought by another batch of free foam this afternoon, and it reminded me that I had unfinished business here. And I hated looking at that 'draft' post in my list.

From here on out, I'll finish posts as soon as I start them. Hopefully I'm done being new at this. Thank you for your patience, and sorry if I wasted your time. I'll try not to let it happen again. I'm already regretting not deleting this. Blogger's remorse?

Let's talk money.

So. Here's the part I'd like to avoid. Mostly because I like my husband and want to stay married. But first, some background/perspective...

I firmly believe that to break into a new hobby it costs $1,000. You could argue with me about it, but I would win. If you don't invest enough initially, you probably won't have enough fun to stay interested. For example: Kayaking. I decided last year that I wanted a kayak since every time I ever used one I walked away saying "dammit, I want one". So driving home from 4th of July in Maine last summer, I said to my husband "dammit, I want one... Ima grown-ass woman, I work hard, I get that paper, can't tell me no." So I whipped out my phone and started perusing Craigslist. I researched options, read reviews, figured out exactly what I wanted but wasn't about to buy a new outfit. I didn't know for sure if I would stick with it, and I generally believe that buying anything new is a waste of money. So I found a used one. In friggin' Pennsylvania. But it was the exact model I wanted, even the color, and dude said he had only used it about 6 times. Came with a nice seat, dry-bag, fiberglass paddle, and for $500. I bit the bullet, and drove down to get it. 13 hours round trip. Alone. Long story short, absolutely worth it. I got so much use out of it last summer and I can't wait to get back in this year. After I bought a few accessories, roof racks, etc. I had spent about $1,000. Had I spent less, and got a beginner cheapie boat that was slow, with crappy tracking, tippy stability, heavy aluminum paddle, no hatch, blah, blah, blah... you get it. I wouldn't have been satisfied, and may have seen my initial $250 investment as a waste of money, never to paddle again. See what I mean? You don't have to buy extravagant, top-o-the-line shit. But you have to be reasonable about your expectations for what you'll get for the money and find some balance. There is truth in the 'you get what you pay for' concept.

And now the dollhouse damage. For those of you still reading. I carefully added all my receipts and it came to a whopping grand total of $1200. Don't even think for a minute that all of that went into what you see in yesterday's pictures. That number is the enemy. We're about to start subtracting for things that don't count.

Firstly, tools. I went through those receipts and totalled how much was spent on tools. Tools don't count since I'll have them forever (or until I break them, I'm clumsy) and I can use them on non-dollhouse projects. I consider tools to include any of the following: sandpaper, saws, adhesives, punches, storage containers, drill bits, dremel attachments, exacto blades, etc.
Tools: $150.

Secondly, returns. I plan on making a shameless amount of returns. I have a bunch of paper, supplies, etc that I thought I would use, but didn't. Gonna send a bunch back, and I don't feel bad about it either.
Estimated returns: $100.

Sweet. We're under a grand now. I feel better already.

Thirdly, gifts. Dad gave me $200 for my birthday (in November) and another $200 for Christmas. I also amassed $70 in Hobby Lobby gift cards. Mom went to Earth and Tree Miniatures and bought quite a few items for my B-day (I spent an unreasonable amount of money there, myself). That place is like the Louvre. You could spend a week in there and not see everything. It helps that their prices on electrical supplies are as good as anything you'll find on the interwebs, and I don't have to pay shipping/taxes, or wait a week for it to show up. It's 15 minutes from my place of employment. It's natural to be jealous. If you live in the area, they offer dollhouse wiring classes. I did not partake, but it was comforting to know that if I couldn't be self taught, it wouldn't be disastrous. And the people that work there are incredibly friendly/helpful/passionate about miniatures. No they didn't pay me for the plug. I just like them and their operation.
Gifts: $470.

Now for the hardest part. Out of the money that's left over ($480), what actually went into the dollhouse? Here's the problem. If I wanted one or two craft mirrors for anything, I had to buy a bag of a dozen. And so on for anything that can't be purchased individually. Which is pretty much everything. Ya dig? All of the following figures are honest estimates of supply costs.

Electricity/Light fixtures: $150-200. Seriously. I spent the bulk of that on bulbs/wires/adapters/components to make unique one-of-a-kind pieces. Actually wiring the house was super cheap and easy. I bought a Cir-Kit starter pack for $20 using a 40% off coupon at Hobby Lobby. I needed an extra 5' of tapewire, outlets, and spring-loaded eyelets on top of that. I read the included manual cover to cover, and didn't have one single problem doing the electrical myself. Anyways, way cheaper/cooler than paying to have someone else wire it, and buying generic plastic fixtures. Making modern, stylish, operational miniature lighting is actually my new favorite thing to do. I have ideas for more light fixtures than I have places to plug them in.

Woodwork/Lumber: $200 total? This estimation is dicey. I bought a lot of mini lumber. Mostly basswood, a little balsa, but a few choice pieces of walnut, too. I have a lot left over for future projects. I like having plenty of my preferred sizes on hand in case I get an idea that I want to execute in a quick way. The beadboard in the girls' room was pricey but worth it at $4.70/3"x24". The railing on the treehouse loft was over $13 for a 10" length. Total spent on trim (baseboards, chair rails, etc.) probably about $40. Plus I made a bunch of furniture. So maybe $100 worth of that wood actually made it into the house. But it's details like trim, window, and door casings that separate the men from the boys.

Metal: $25. For various brass/aluminum/copper items (tubing/rods). 'Sheet metals' (30-something gauge embossing foils, at least one 12"x10' roll in each metal) were free, because I'm a very lucky girl.

Fabric: $50. Again, totally guessing. The only receipt I'm missing is the one from the fabric store. I may have used $15 worth. But fabric is for keeps. If I bought it, I loved it. And there's no buyers' remorse in that.

So that leaves us with around $100, which I spent on beads to become vases, and various other accessories (pots, pans, etc.) to make a house feel like a home.

That's about the best I can do for a breakdown of what I spent on this venture. Did I overspend? Nope. I don't think so...

How many hours of entertainment did I get for my money? In any other context this sounds like a very dirty question.

I estimate that I spent approximately 300 hours designing, sketching, building, decorating, and so on. Based on having 4 months to work minus 3 weeks around Christmas when I was totally burnt out on this project, discouraged/relieved (if that's possible) about the deadline extension. I spent an average of 3 hours/day (less on weeknights, more on weekends). Eh, it's a rough estimate could be more, could be less. But that's a lot of 'entertainment' for the investment. It would be more entertaining and less depressing if there was some closure to this thing. I'd practically pay the challenge creators to post something challenge related at this point. I hate feeling like I spent all of this time and money in vain. Since we're in the circle of trust here, I'll be honest and say I'm more than a little bummed about the silence. Chill out. I'm not going to slit my wrists over it. I'm still really glad I participated. It was fate (call me cheesey, but everything happens for a reason). This project has reconnected me with a part of myself I thought I had lost. No matter how life may try to hold you down, or how many hard-knocks hit you... no one can take your creativity away.

In the end, challenge or no challenge, I ended up with a unique, heirloom, 75% handmade dollhouse that I can be proud of and pass down to important people who don't exist yet.

On a lighter note, I picked up a deck chair at the Portsmouth Goodwill yesterday. $5. Love at first sight. I started to walk away from  it for a minute, you know, to think it over. And some bitch started towards it with that look in her eye. I hot-footed and snatched that shit right up. Five. Dollars. Why was I even wavering?! The aluminum is worth more than that if I scrapped it (don't worry sweet little chair, I would never). The seat is hand woven by someone with serious macrame skills. It's tight enough to bounce a quarter off of, and comfy as can be. I wrote this entire wordy post sitting in it.
 

And it's sparkly! Yep. For realzies. Even the cashier said it was the 'find of the day'. Pretty sure she knows what she's talking about. Success.

I'm a Giant (liar)

I know I said I would post new pics/commentary/tutorials this weekend. For those of you who care, I'm a New-Englander. So you know what this weekend is about for me. If you don't, I pity you. I'm not a complete liar, I did take some daylight pics of the dollhouse, I completed a couple additional projects (overestimation. exact count: 1.5 projects, both electrical, you'll see). I will give additional commentary, as promised (I'm a loudmouth, it's unavoidable). But the tutorials? Not this weekend. Sorry dudes. I did decide what one of them will be though: I'll show you how to make my grommeted (sp?) curtains and curtain rods with changeable finials. I'll also show how to wire a simple lamp, too. Easy peasy.

Ok. Lets get to the eye-candy. I've had a request for the zoom-out-total-dollhouse view.

BOOM.

Kids' room:

 Almost everything in this room is homemade by me. The only store bought items are: the stick pony, the cow puzzle, the worry dolls, pewter zebra (in loft), stuffed jointed elephant, and the blue book. Any vases you see are beads that I may have had on hand, or bought specifically to be vases in this dollhouse. Everything else (and I mean everything) was designed and built by me (although my mom did help sew some pillows, because she's the bomb).

 The 'roots' of the tree grow down the birch trunk. Hard to see in pics, but looks cool in person.

 In life-size, this would need to be recalled for safety issues. But in 1:12, the railings pivot and swing out so you don't bust them trying to place throw pillows. Even so, I still needed to use tweezers to get them where I wanted. I have big clumsy man-hands like you read about. And there's only 3.5" of wiggle room up there.

 That frame is from the dollar section at Michael's.

 Honeymoon champagne cork as a side table. My husband thinks that if I save shit like that, I should find a way to make it useful. He's exactly not the sentimental type. Obviously.

 The bolster is awesome. The twin bed has claw feet. Zoom if you don't believe me.

 Hard to tell in pictures, but the slide is aluminum. Not just silver paint, y'all. I've sent a few toys down it, since I'm too big. It looks fun for sure.

 I wanted to better show the detail in the cluster light. It may be my favorite thing that I've made.

Master Bedroom:
 
The only things in this room that I didn't design/make are the barcelona chair ($25, Reac) and the brass clock on the side table. Mom did all of the bedding and pillows for me, as time was running short (as if the deadline mattered, silly me) and she is kick-ass with a needle and thread. She's kick-ass even when she's not sewing.

The tripod lamp still needs a shade. It's going to be a short-fat drum shade. Maybe parchment, maybe brass. I dunno yet. I'm just glad I got it to this point. I've been avoiding this project because the smell of epoxy makes me want to vom.

Mom suggested a roman shade, and I think she was right (as usual). There will be a cornice box and real rod eventually. As of now, it is masking taped to the window frame. Sorry to spoil any magic.

The walls desperately need art. I think these Egyptian stamps will look really cool once I frame 'em. Eventually.

I had to rig something to hold this whilst it cured. Partially because of my aversion to epoxy, partially because my cat was being a pain in the A. This is the 0.5 of the 1.5 projects I did this weekend.

Living Room:

 This room has no changes, just daylight pictures. I have plans (and wood) to build a white lacquer/walnut credenza, and another chair. I have another accent light feature in the works (the miniature store only had 8 of the 12 bulbs necessary) it's 1/3 of the way done, but will be totally bitchin' when completed.

 I need better artwork than a Captain Morgan Silver box fragment. Or I need to frame it. I didn't feel like painting any strip wood, but this will have a black frame if it stays on this wall (or in the dollhouse. period).

This is really pretty sari fabric. I love it.

Bathroom:

So here's the other project I did. Finally, a ceiling fixture for the bathroom. I'm pretty happy with this one. The wires are more exposed than I prefer, but you can't win 'em all. Not bad for something I whipped together in about 30 minutes.

The bathroom still needs art and proper accessorizing. I'd like to roll up some towels spa-style on the wire shelving, too.

Kitchen:

So, again, not many changes here. Just daylight pics and a few more accessories. I added the mirrors over the banquette. Those are the cheapest, easiest things ever. No tutorial necessary. Simply 1' craft mirrors (available by the dozen at any craft store) and rubber O-rings taken from my husband's toolbox. Shazam.

 The artwork is another postage stamp. I love the quote (Benjamin Franklin). Politicians aren't what they used to be. To correct myself, I don't think that the word 'politician' should be used in any sentence describing any of the founding-fathers. Off soapbox.

 Eduardo (the bird) is in the kitchen because the study/piano-room is under construction.

 From the side window looking in.

I love this area. Everything except for the fruit bowl and its contents are home-made.

 That's why I take so many pictures of it.

The island, fridge, and dishwasher are upcycled from cheap-n-cheezey made-in-China stuff. Except for little knick-knacks/accessories, everything is home-made.

Study/Piano Room:

Though this isn't part of my challenge submission, I still think it deserves honorable mention. I put quite a few hours of work into it, even if it doesn't show. The giant window in the back? Wasn't there when I got the house. Trim, flooring and electrical are new, too. The ceiling is wired for a chandelier, ready to plug right in.

So there. I'm taking some time off. Probably a week. Then some mini tutorials. If there's anything specific you'd like to know how to make, lemme know. I may be able to accommodate. However, I am planning on doing some R&D on certain items (mostly lighting, some furniture), then making stock to sell in my Etsy shop. (If I'm going to sell it, I probably won't show you how to make it. Sorry in advance, but I'm sure you understand.)

Well, my team just lost. Miserably. Perfect timing. It's time for me to go to bed. Check you on the flip.